


One Piece PETs: Woolly Mayhem

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Series: One Piece PETs [220]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Anthropomorphic, F/M, Prehistoric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8645632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: Luffy and his crew encounter a giant woolly mammoth; based off of the color spread from ch. 401 of One Piece. Takes place pre-timeskip.





	

**One Piece PETs: Woolly Mayhem**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own the greatness that is One Piece. Eiichiro Oda does.)

 

 

    Usually, our stories took place in a modern settings. However, this time, we're turning back the clock to prehistoric times. It's a bit different, but just play along.

 

    At any rate, in a small, quiet town, similar to a Stone Age village there was young boy, no older than 17, named Monkey D. Luffy. He yawned and stretched his arms, having just woken up.

 

"Time to start the day," Luffy spoke up, getting out of his bed.

 

***Grrrrruuuuuuurrrrgh...!***

 

"But first, gotta get breakfast." he added.

 

With that, he headed outside. There, he was greeted by one of his neighbors, Tony Tony Chopper.

 

"Hi, Luffy!" Chopper waved.

 

"Hey, Chopper!" Luffy greeted.

 

"Where are you going?" Chopper asked.

 

"Just gonna go get something to eat," Luffy answered, "Wanna come with me?"

 

"Sure!" Chopper replied.

 

"Great!" Luffy grinned.

 

Next, he grabbed a giant wooden club.

 

"Can't go anywhere without a club!" Luffy exclaimed. "Better safe than sorry!"

 

"Right!" Chopper concurred.

 

With that, they left.

 

Along the way, they encountered two ladies, a Booted Puss Woman and a Crane Woman.

 

"Hi, Nami! Hi, Robin!" Luffy greeted.

 

"Hello, Luffy!" Nami greeted back. "Where are you and Chopper off to?"

 

"Just grabbing a bite to eat," Luffy answered, "I was thinking mammoth."

 

"Are you sure about that?" Robin asked. "You know mammoths don't travel alone."

 

"That, and they're dangerous." Nami added. "Why not just hunt for a boar?"

 

"I had boar yesterday," Luffy answered, "today I want mammoth."

 

Nami sighed and shook her head.

 

"You can't tell this guy anything," she muttered.

 

"This is Luffy," Robin pointed out, "That's to be expected."

 

"That's true." Nami concurred.

 

"You're welcome to come along if you'd like," Luffy offered.

 

"...Eh, why not?" Nami asked with a shrug. "I got nothing to better to do."

 

"Same here," added Robin, "Let's go."

 

Riding on Nami's waver, the ladies followed Luffy and Chopper on their mammoth hunt.

 

"Hey, mammoth!!" Luffy called. "Come on out!"

 

"I don't think that's how it works, Luffy." Nami spoke up. "Mammoths aren't dogs."

 

"Can't hurt to try." Luffy replied.

 

Nami sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

 

"Mammoth~!" Luffy called, again. "Hey, where are you?!"

 

On their hunt, they met up with a long-nosed Ferret Man who was wearing a tiger pelt, striped pants, and boots.

 

"Hey, Luffy!" Usopp called.

 

"Hey, Usopp!" Luffy replied. "Wanna come hunt a mammoth with us?"

 

"You're hunting mammoths?" Usopp inquired. "Isn't that a little dangerous?"

 

***Grrruuuuurrrrrmmmgghh...!!***

 

"Not according to my stomach." Luffy answered.

 

"Fair enough." Usopp deadpanned. "Sure, I'll come along."

 

"Great!" Luffy grinned. "Let's go!"

 

And off they went.

 

"How much longer until we find a mammoth, Luffy?" Chopper asked.

 

"Hopefully not long." Luffy answered.

 

Just then, they heard the sound of two people arguing.

 

"Why don't you watch you where you're going, you damn fox?!"

 

"Why don't _you_ watch where _you're_ going, Moss-Head!?"

 

"That sounds like Zoro and Sanji." Chopper surmised.

 

"That's because it is Zoro and Sanji," Nami muttered, irritably, "those idiots."

 

"Oh, look! I see them!" Luffy exclaimed.

 

From a distance, Sanji and Zoro were in a fight cloud.

 

"Ow!!" Zoro shouted. "You bit my tail!!"

 

"I'll do it again!!!" Sanji spat.

 

"Yoo-hoo~!" Nami called.

 

Sanji's ears twitched on that call.

 

"NAMI-SWAN~!!!!" he swooned, his eye in the shape of a heart.

 

"Oh, great," Zoro grumbled, "he's all lovey dovey."

 

"Hi, Zoro! Hi, Sanji!" Luffy greeted.

 

"Hey, Luffy." the Tiger Man and Fox Man greeted back. "What's up?"

 

"Going to hunt for mammoths," Luffy answered, "Wanna come along?"

 

"Mammoth, eh?" Sanji asked. "Hmm...haven't made anything with mammoth for a while."

 

"Why not?" Zoro shrugged. "I could use the exercise."

 

"Great!" Luffy answered.

 

"You know, I actually did see a mammoth herd while I was walking," Zoro pointed out.

 

"Sweet!" Luffy grinned. "Lead the way!"

 

"That might not be such a good idea, Luffy." Usopp piped up. "Zoro has a sucky sense of direction."

 

"Hey!" Zoro barked.

 

"Well, it's true!" Usopp argued.

 

"Burn," Sanji smirked.

 

"Eat a dick." Zoro hissed.

 

"Why don't you eat a dick, you dick!!" Sanji shouted.

 

"Oh, good comeback!" Zoro retorted, sarcastically.

 

"Good grief," muttered Nami.

 

"Boys, that's enough," Robin piped up, "let's focus on hunting a mammoth, all right?"

 

"Yes, Robin, my love~!" Sanji complied, lovingly.

 

"Sure." Zoro also complied.

 

"Let's hurry," Luffy spoke, "I'm starving!"

 

***GRRRRRRMMMUUUUUGH!!!***

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know!" Luffy spoke to his stomach. "We're going, already!"

 

***Grrrrruuuuurrgle...!!***

 

"Hey! Who's in charge here?!" Luffy asked. "Me or you?!"

 

***Grruugle...***

 

"That's what I thought." Luffy nodded.

 

"...Weird," Usopp muttered.

 

"Right?" Zoro asked.

 

Ahem. So, the group of seven proceeded on their mammoth hunt. That's when Chopper caught a whiff of something.

 

"Ugh..." he groaned, holding his nose. "I smell mammoths up ahead."

 

"Get ready, everyone." Luffy piped up, holding his club. "We're gonna feast on mammoth soon!"

 

They pressed onward, although they had to hold their noses for the smell of mammoths was so overpowering.

 

"Ugh...that's the smell of mammoth musk, all right," Nami groaned.

 

"They may taste good, but they sure do reek." Sanji added, holding his nose.

 

"Indeed," Robin concurred, holding her nose as well.

 

"Haven't they ever heard of a bath?" Zoro questioned, also holding his nose.

 

"Well, they take dust baths to get rid of epidermal parasites," Robin answered.

 

"Does it have to smell so bad?" Usopp asked. "P.U.!!"

 

"Shh~!!" Luffy shushed. "Listen..."

 

In the distance, they heard the familiar sound of mammoths trumpeting.

 

"We're deep in their territory." Luffy whispered. "Be on your toes."

 

"Right." the others replied.

 

    With that, they crouched down low and began to crawl silently on their hands and knees until they looked over an outcropping of rocks, and sure enough, there it was: a whole herd of giant woolly mammoths, pulling up grass with their trunks to eat and drinking fresh spring water.

 

"Holy crap...!" Usopp whispered. "Look at 'em all!"

 

"They're ginormous...!" whispered Chopper. "How are we gonna get close to them...?!"

 

"Easy." Luffy answered. "We'll just sneak up on one of them, and I'll knock him out with my club!"

 

_'Why do I get the feeling that this will all fall apart?'_ Usopp thought.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Meliodas stealing Elizabeth's panties (A Seven Deadly Sins reference)*****

 

"I KNEW THIS WOULD ALL FALL APART!!!" Usopp squawked.

 

"JUST SHUT UP AND RUN!!!" Nami shouted.

 

The group was running away from a rampaging giant woolly mammoth.

 

"Dammit, Luffy!!" Sanji cursed, holding a giant axe with a stone blade. "You just HAD to pick the BIGGEST ONE in the herd!!!"

 

"What? The biggest one means good eatin' for all of us!" Luffy replied.

 

"IT ALSO MAKES THEM THE HARDEST TO KILL!!!" Chopper shrieked. "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE PICKED A SMALLER MAMMOTH?!"

 

"Where's the fun in that?" asked Luffy.

 

"DUCK!!!" Zoro shouted as the mammoth swung its trunk at them.

 

"KYAAAA!!!" Nami shrieked as she drove out of the way.

 

"WHOA!!!" Sanji cried as he jumped over the long appendage.

 

"YAAAAAAHHH!!!!" Usopp screeched, ducking the trunk. "DO SOMETHING, SANJI!!! HELP!!!!"

 

"Will you get off me?!" Sanji questioned. "Stop it!!"

 

"MOMMY!!!" Chopper screamed.

 

Robin only chuckled.

 

"How can you be so calm?!" Usopp questioned. "WE'RE ABOUT TO BE TRAMPLED TO DEATH!!"

 

"Usopp, this is Robin." Nami explained. "Nothing EVER startles her."

 

"Oh, yeah." Usopp realized.

 

The mammoth bellowed as it prepared to attack, once again.

 

"Brace yourselves!" Zoro shouted, drawing his swords. "Here it comes again!!"

 

***CRASH!!!*** The mammoth smashed through a giant boulder!

 

"Goddamn!" Sanji exclaimed. "That thing's tough!!"

 

"That's just how I like 'em!" Luffy grinned.

 

He turned to face the giant, woolly pachyderm.

 

"Hehe!" Luffy giggled, cracking his knuckles. "Hope you're ready for this!"

 

The mammoth raised his trunk, roaring in response.

 

"That thing's gonna die," Nami muttered.

 

"Yup." Usopp concurred. "I'd say it was nice knowing it...but then I'd be lying."

 

Luffy bit into his thumb. "Third Gear!" He blew air into his arm, causing it to grow huge.

 

"Here it comes." Sanji spoke.

 

"Gum-Gum...GIANT PISTOL~!!!" Luffy shouted.

 

***BAM!!!!*** His giant fist collided with the woolly mammoth's face. It was so powerful, one of the tusks broke!

 

"ALL RIGHT!!!" Usopp cheered.

 

"WAY TO GO, LUFFY!!!" Chopper added.

 

    The giant mammoth was knocked back against a wall, and collapsed completely on the ground. Subsequently after that, Luffy went flying into the air, air blowing out of his mouth. When all the air had left his body, Luffy found himself falling to the ground. Nami held out her arms, ready to catch him.

 

***PLOP!*** A shrunken Luffy fell down in her arms.

 

"Gotcha!" Nami exclaimed.

 

"Thanks, Nami!" Luffy spoke in a chibi voice.

 

Nami giggled as she hugged the chibi Monkey Man. "No problem, baby!"

 

"Ugh..." Zoro groaned. "We could really do without you shrinking, Luffy."

 

"I don't mind it," Nami admitted, "I think it's cute."

 

"Yeah!" Luffy added. "Shishishishi!"

 

"Well, of course you'd think it's cute, Nami." Zoro replied. "You're a girl."

 

"And what's that supposed to mean, Zoro?" Nami questioned with a glare.

 

Before Zoro could answer, Luffy returned to normal size.

 

"...Well, ain't this awkward?" Luffy asked, looking at Nami.

 

"Yeah." Nami answered, gently putting Luffy down.

 

***Grrrrrroooooaaaaaaaaarr!!***

 

"Yeah, yeah, we can eat now," Luffy spoke to his stomach.

 

    The group of seven brought the woolly mammoth back to their home village, where Sanji proceeded to cook it. Nothing was wasted. Just ask Luffy.

 

"Oooooohhh..." Luffy groaned, his stomach as round as a ball and as big as a mammoth calf. "Man, am I stuffed."

 

"No kidding..." Usopp noted. "You ate enough mammoth meat to last an entire week!"

 

Nami giggled at Luffy's comical girth.

 

"You and your ravenous appetite," she noted, "I often wonder how you get hungry again so fast."

 

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed. "I burn up a lot of energy, which is why I'm always eating."

 

"Don't we know it?" Zoro asked.

 

Robin chuckled.

 

"Man, that was the best mammoth ever!" Luffy commented.

 

"Indeed, it was." Robin concurred.

 

"You really outdid yourself, Sanji!" Usopp added.

 

"Thanks, Usopp." Sanji smiled. "I do what I can."

 

***URP~!!***

 

"'Scuse me."

 

"Seriously, Luffy?" Sanji asked.

 

"What?" Luffy answered with his own question. "It's a compliment!"

 

"It also stinks," Zoro added.

 

"Pew!" Usopp exclaimed, fanning the air. "You ain't kiddin'!"

 

"Ah, whatever!" Luffy retorted. "Better out than in!"

 

"And better it come out the front," Nami added.

 

"Exactly!" Luffy concurred.

 

"Okay, that I can actually preach for," Usopp conceded.

 

"Me, too." Chopper piped up. "Yuck!"

 

Robin pat him on the head. Soon, Luffy yawned.

 

"Man...now that I'm full, I feel sleepy," he spoke up, "I could sure use a nap."

 

"You can rest in my lap if you want," Nami offered, "C'mon."

 

Luffy lay his head on Nami's lap, allowing her to stroke his hair from his forehead.

 

"Lucky bastard." Sanji grumbled.

 

"Get over yourself," Zoro told him.

 

"Kiss my ass, Moss Head." Sanji retorted.

 

"What was that?!" Zoro questioned.

 

"You heard me, stripes!" Sanji answered.

 

Soon, they went at it again and Robin could only face-wing.

 

"Good grief," she muttered.

 

"You said it." agreed Chopper.

 

"Ahahahahaha!" Luffy laughed.

 

"They'll tire out, eventually." Usopp shrugged.

 

Sure enough, Zoro and Sanji lied on the ground, exhausted.

 

"Feh." they uttered.

 

"Figures," Nami sighed.

 

"Yup." Luffy agreed. "Shishishi!"

 

He yawned, right after.

 

"Goodnight..." he muttered, drifting off to sleep.

 

"Goodnight, Luffy." Nami smiled. "Sweet dreams."

 

Luffy made loud snores while muttering, "Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat..."

 

Robin chuckled. "How adorable."

 

"Yeah," Nami agreed, petting Luffy's hair, "he is kind of cute."

 

"He's as cute as a sack of dirty diapers," Usopp quipped.

 

"Oh, hush," Nami scolded, "Just let him be."

 

"Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat..." Luffy muttered.

 

"I think Luffy might have the right idea," Robin piped up.

 

"Yeah." Chopper yawned. "I'm beat."

 

"Want me to walk you home?" Robin offered.

 

"I'd like that," Chopper answered, "thank you."

 

Chopper held Robin's wing as they walked back to his home.

 

"See ya later!" Nami called out.

 

"Later!" Chopper replied.

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna split, too," Usopp stood up, "see ya, Nami."

 

"So long," Zoro added, also leaving.

 

"Well, I should be going, too." Sanji piped up, getting up to leave. " _Au revoir_."

 

"Later, Sanji."

 

With that, Sanji left. Leaving Nami alone with a sleeping Luffy. Nami smiled before she pet Luffy's head.

 

"Have a good sleep," she whispered, "I'll be right here with you."

 

A small smile creased Luffy's lips as he snored softly, causing Nami to smile at him. At that moment, she looked up at the starry sky.

 

_'What a gorgeous sight,'_ Nami thought, _'To think, this day started out so crazy...and now it ended so peacefully.'_

 

Nami leaned in to plant a light kiss on Luffy's cheek.

 

"Thanks for an awesome day," she whispered.

 

"...You're welcome." Luffy murmured, sleepily.

 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I had fun with this one. :)


End file.
